I just found out that Darn Oldham and I are both finalists for the 2008 Literary Awards Show. Darn is an author assigned to my publishing house, Nevaeh Publishing. I'm nominated for Divorcing the Devil, which is currently on the Black Expressions Top 10 Bestsellers List, under the Christian Fiction category, and Darn is nominated for Scent of an Angel under the Breakout Author of the Year. Please cast your votes for us. I would greatly appreciate it. Feel free to pass this information along. The more votes the better. I'm so happy that we were both nominated. The voting link is below. Thanks in advance for your support.
http://www.createsurvey.com/c/70819-bwXj6C/
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Divas of Literature Book Tour
Calling all book lovers!
Come on out for the 2008 Divas of Literature Book Tour, featuring five of the hottest authors in the black book market.
Meet Jackie Christi and Hubby, NBA star, Doug Christi, with their book, No Ordinary Love; film maker and TV host, Abiola Abrams, with her urban take, Dare; Black Expressions Best-selling author, Dwan Abrams, with her latest novel, Divorcing the Devil; Assuanta Collins, author of Until the Next time 2, and best-selling author, Renee Daniel Flagler, with her latest novel, In Her Mind.
The Divas will make stops in the following 5 cities:
July 26 -- Gallery at Market East, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, 12:00-4:00 p.m.
August 9 -- Four Seasons Mall, Greensboro, North Carolina, 12:00-4:00 p.m.
August 16 -- Perimeter Mall, Atlanta, Georgia 12:00-4:00 p.m.
August 23 -- Truth Bookstore, Northland Mall, Southfield, Michigan, 3:00-7:00 p.m.
September 6 -- Borders Express, 2034 Green Acres Mall, Valley Stream, New York, 12:00-4:00 p.m.
Join them for a day of book-loving fun with readings, signings and cool giveaways.
For additional information, please visit www.divasofliterature.com.
See you there!
Come on out for the 2008 Divas of Literature Book Tour, featuring five of the hottest authors in the black book market.
Meet Jackie Christi and Hubby, NBA star, Doug Christi, with their book, No Ordinary Love; film maker and TV host, Abiola Abrams, with her urban take, Dare; Black Expressions Best-selling author, Dwan Abrams, with her latest novel, Divorcing the Devil; Assuanta Collins, author of Until the Next time 2, and best-selling author, Renee Daniel Flagler, with her latest novel, In Her Mind.
The Divas will make stops in the following 5 cities:
July 26 -- Gallery at Market East, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, 12:00-4:00 p.m.
August 9 -- Four Seasons Mall, Greensboro, North Carolina, 12:00-4:00 p.m.
August 16 -- Perimeter Mall, Atlanta, Georgia 12:00-4:00 p.m.
August 23 -- Truth Bookstore, Northland Mall, Southfield, Michigan, 3:00-7:00 p.m.
September 6 -- Borders Express, 2034 Green Acres Mall, Valley Stream, New York, 12:00-4:00 p.m.
Join them for a day of book-loving fun with readings, signings and cool giveaways.
For additional information, please visit www.divasofliterature.com.
See you there!
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Visions in Print Writer's Conference
Visions in Print Writer's Conference
"Coming to a computer near you!"
www.myspace.com/visionsinprint
Online Workshops & Sessions to Help You Take Your Skills to the Next Level
May 31, 2008 - $10 Registration Fee Includes All Sessions!
Visions in Print Writer's Group invites you to attend an online writer's conference. We're offering ten workshops and chat sessions that will help you improve your writing and/or market your current work.
Craft of Writing
Writing 101 – Dee Stewart
Creating Believable Characters – Rhonda McKnight
Plot & Structure – Kendra Norman Bellamy
Self-Editing for Fiction Writers – Stacy Hawkins Adams
Critique Partners: Benefits, Techniques & Pitfalls – Tia McCollors
Finding Your Voice - Claudia Mair Burney
Total Craft Development: From Rejection to Redirection – Sherri Lewis
Business of Writing
I've Signed A Contract, Now What? – Ashea Goldson
Networking Your Way to a Bestseller List – Dwan Abrams
Virtual Marketing and Promotion – Dana Pittman/www.niapromotions.com
How an Online Conference Works: An online-conference is a conference hosted on the Internet. Participants can attend without leaving the comfort of their home.
Who it is for: This conference is for anyone who is writing fiction or thinking about writing. It's also for those published authors who would like to learn more about the craft of writing to improve your skills or take advantage of our industry professionals who will discuss tips on getting a book review, marketing, networking and the advantages of a virtual tour.
How You Will Participate: You register for the conference by visiting www.myspace.com/visionsinprint and paying the $10 registration fee. A few days before the conference will receive instructions on how to enter the main site for the conference. On the day of the conference, the workshops are presented in the forms of articles that are posted on the conference site by the presenter. Participants will review the material and post follow-up questions or comments in a threaded discussion format. At some point in the afternoon or perhaps several times during the day, the presenter will come into the forum and answer all the questions. Additionally, each presenter will hold a live chat for 45 minutes to an hour where they will talk with participants. This is another opportunity to have your questions answered or just have an opportunity to speak with one of your favorite authors.
Door prize: All registered participants who are interested will be entered in a raffle to win a 10-page critique from one of our bestselling authors!
Don't miss out on the learning or the fun!
Contact us at visionsinprintacfw@yahoo.com. Visions in Print is the Southeast Atlanta Chapter of the American Christian Fiction Writers.
"Coming to a computer near you!"
www.myspace.com/visionsinprint
Online Workshops & Sessions to Help You Take Your Skills to the Next Level
May 31, 2008 - $10 Registration Fee Includes All Sessions!
Visions in Print Writer's Group invites you to attend an online writer's conference. We're offering ten workshops and chat sessions that will help you improve your writing and/or market your current work.
Craft of Writing
Writing 101 – Dee Stewart
Creating Believable Characters – Rhonda McKnight
Plot & Structure – Kendra Norman Bellamy
Self-Editing for Fiction Writers – Stacy Hawkins Adams
Critique Partners: Benefits, Techniques & Pitfalls – Tia McCollors
Finding Your Voice - Claudia Mair Burney
Total Craft Development: From Rejection to Redirection – Sherri Lewis
Business of Writing
I've Signed A Contract, Now What? – Ashea Goldson
Networking Your Way to a Bestseller List – Dwan Abrams
Virtual Marketing and Promotion – Dana Pittman/www.niapromotions.com
How an Online Conference Works: An online-conference is a conference hosted on the Internet. Participants can attend without leaving the comfort of their home.
Who it is for: This conference is for anyone who is writing fiction or thinking about writing. It's also for those published authors who would like to learn more about the craft of writing to improve your skills or take advantage of our industry professionals who will discuss tips on getting a book review, marketing, networking and the advantages of a virtual tour.
How You Will Participate: You register for the conference by visiting www.myspace.com/visionsinprint and paying the $10 registration fee. A few days before the conference will receive instructions on how to enter the main site for the conference. On the day of the conference, the workshops are presented in the forms of articles that are posted on the conference site by the presenter. Participants will review the material and post follow-up questions or comments in a threaded discussion format. At some point in the afternoon or perhaps several times during the day, the presenter will come into the forum and answer all the questions. Additionally, each presenter will hold a live chat for 45 minutes to an hour where they will talk with participants. This is another opportunity to have your questions answered or just have an opportunity to speak with one of your favorite authors.
Door prize: All registered participants who are interested will be entered in a raffle to win a 10-page critique from one of our bestselling authors!
Don't miss out on the learning or the fun!
Contact us at visionsinprintacfw@yahoo.com. Visions in Print is the Southeast Atlanta Chapter of the American Christian Fiction Writers.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Black Expressions
Mind over matter. I woke up today claiming that today was going to be a good day. I got up early to attend a family member's wedding. It was a lovely, intimate ceremony. I felt great about the union and had a wonderful time all around.
When I got home, I checked my emails. There was an email from my editor. She informed me that my upcoming novel, Divorcing the Devil, had been picked up by Black Expressions Book Club. Through Black Expressions, it will be available in hardback. I was elated! Thank God for the blessing!
When I got home, I checked my emails. There was an email from my editor. She informed me that my upcoming novel, Divorcing the Devil, had been picked up by Black Expressions Book Club. Through Black Expressions, it will be available in hardback. I was elated! Thank God for the blessing!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Book Tour
I'm so excited about my upcoming book tour. My tour dates are below. I hope to see you!
April 20 -- Entrepreneurs with Vision, Purpose and Power Networking Meeting, 4336 Covington Hwy, Suite 206, Decatur, GA 30085 3:00 p.m.
April 28 -- Black Authors Network Internet Radio Interview http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Black-Author-Network 8:00-10:00 p.m.
April 29 -- Official Release Date for Divorcing the Devil
April 30 -- In My Pajamas Radio Show Interview http://www.blogtalkradio.com/In-My-Pajamas-Show/ 9:30-10:30 p.m.
May 3 -- Kana's Books & CD's Book Signing for Divorcing the Devil, 2541 Franksway Avenue , Columbus, OH 2:00-4:00 p.m.
May 3 -- Radio Interview on Praise 89.5, OH 7:00 p.m.
May 4 -- Sunday Brunch and Books, Mr. Hyman's Fine Dining, 107 E. First Street
Dayton, OH 45402, 1:00-4:00 p.m.
May 10 -- Book Release Party for Divorcing the Devil, Gallery Bistro, 4225 Snapfinger Woods Dr., Decatur, GA 30035, 4:00-7:00 p.m.
May 13 -- Ferguson Literary Hour Radio Interview http://www.artistfirst.com/ 7:15-7:45 p.m.
May 16-18 -- Third Annual Virtuous Woman Book Retreat, Wild Dunes Island Resort in Charleston, SC
May 28 -- Mind, Body and Soul Retreat TBD
May 31 -- Presenter for Online Writers Conference, Topic: Networking, Marketing and Publicity 9:30-10:15 a.m.
June 5-7 -- First Lady Conference, Fairmont Hotel, Dallas, TX
July 12 -- In My Pajamas Internet Radio Interview, http://www.blogtalkradio.com/In-My-Pajamas-Show/, 8:30 p.m.
July 26 -- Divas of Literature Tour, Gallery at Market East, Philadelphia, PA 12:00-4:00 p.m.
August 7-8 --Dancing Preachers 2008 International Conference, Hilton Atlanta
255 Courtland Street NE, Atlanta, GA 30303
August 9 -- Divas of Literature Tour, Four Seasons Mall, Greensboro, NC 12:00-4:00 p.m.
August 14-17 -- Faith and Fiction Retreat, The Palms, Destin, FL
August 23 -- Truth Bookstore, Northland Mall, Southfield, MI, 3:00-7:00 p.m.
September 6 -- Borders Express, 2034 Green Acres Mall, Valley Stream, NY 12:00-4:00 p.m.
October 11--Deerwood Country Club, 845 Woodlane Road, Westampton, NJ
October 25--Christian Authors Expo and Literacy Event, Newton Square, Raleigh, NC
April 20 -- Entrepreneurs with Vision, Purpose and Power Networking Meeting, 4336 Covington Hwy, Suite 206, Decatur, GA 30085 3:00 p.m.
April 28 -- Black Authors Network Internet Radio Interview http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Black-Author-Network 8:00-10:00 p.m.
April 29 -- Official Release Date for Divorcing the Devil
April 30 -- In My Pajamas Radio Show Interview http://www.blogtalkradio.com/In-My-Pajamas-Show/ 9:30-10:30 p.m.
May 3 -- Kana's Books & CD's Book Signing for Divorcing the Devil, 2541 Franksway Avenue , Columbus, OH 2:00-4:00 p.m.
May 3 -- Radio Interview on Praise 89.5, OH 7:00 p.m.
May 4 -- Sunday Brunch and Books, Mr. Hyman's Fine Dining, 107 E. First Street
Dayton, OH 45402, 1:00-4:00 p.m.
May 10 -- Book Release Party for Divorcing the Devil, Gallery Bistro, 4225 Snapfinger Woods Dr., Decatur, GA 30035, 4:00-7:00 p.m.
May 13 -- Ferguson Literary Hour Radio Interview http://www.artistfirst.com/ 7:15-7:45 p.m.
May 16-18 -- Third Annual Virtuous Woman Book Retreat, Wild Dunes Island Resort in Charleston, SC
May 28 -- Mind, Body and Soul Retreat TBD
May 31 -- Presenter for Online Writers Conference, Topic: Networking, Marketing and Publicity 9:30-10:15 a.m.
June 5-7 -- First Lady Conference, Fairmont Hotel, Dallas, TX
July 12 -- In My Pajamas Internet Radio Interview, http://www.blogtalkradio.com/In-My-Pajamas-Show/, 8:30 p.m.
July 26 -- Divas of Literature Tour, Gallery at Market East, Philadelphia, PA 12:00-4:00 p.m.
August 7-8 --Dancing Preachers 2008 International Conference, Hilton Atlanta
255 Courtland Street NE, Atlanta, GA 30303
August 9 -- Divas of Literature Tour, Four Seasons Mall, Greensboro, NC 12:00-4:00 p.m.
August 14-17 -- Faith and Fiction Retreat, The Palms, Destin, FL
August 23 -- Truth Bookstore, Northland Mall, Southfield, MI, 3:00-7:00 p.m.
September 6 -- Borders Express, 2034 Green Acres Mall, Valley Stream, NY 12:00-4:00 p.m.
October 11--Deerwood Country Club, 845 Woodlane Road, Westampton, NJ
October 25--Christian Authors Expo and Literacy Event, Newton Square, Raleigh, NC
Monday, April 14, 2008
Friday, April 4, 2008
Divorcing the Devil Book Release Party
We're counting down the days before the official release of Divorcing the Devil on April 29, 2008. Divorcing the Devil made the Top 25 Black Christian Book Distributors Independent Publishers Bestsellers List! In celebration of this momentus occasion, we're having a book release party unlike any other. On Saturday, May 10, 2008 from 4:00-7:00 p.m., we're having a book signing, fashion show, entertainment and dinner at the Gallery Bistro, metro Atlanta's premier banquet and event facility. The dress code: wear all black!
For additional information and to secure your ticket, please visit www.dwanabrams.com.
For additional information and to secure your ticket, please visit www.dwanabrams.com.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
I made a bestsellers list!
I'm so excited. A friend of mine called me from Ohio to tell me that my books, Only True Love Waits and Divorcing the Devil, are on the Top 25 Black Christian Small-Independent Publishers Bestsellers List (Fiction). I was even more delighted when I saw the author, Darn Oldham, who is signed to my publishing company, Nevaeh Publishing, on the list, too! Yippee! Here's the link, http://www.blackchristiannews.com/bcbdbestseller.html, but I also pasted the list below.
The Top 25 Black Christian Small-Independent Publishers Bestsellers List (Fiction)
(Based upon Amazon.com rankings, BarnesandNoble.com rankings, and BlackCBD.com rankings.)
For the Week of March 16, 2008 through March 22, 2008.
1. From the Extreme, by Renea Collins
2. Troubles Won't Last Always, by Michelle Taylor
3. Me, Myself and Him, by E.N. Joy
4. Dance to Destiny, by Sherri Lewis
5. Something on the Inside, by T.N. Williams
6. Battle Of Jericho, by Kendra Norman-Bellamy
7. Me Time, by P. M. Morris
8. Happily Ever Now, by Nicole Rouse
9. Keeping Misery Company, by Michelle Larks
10. In Greene Pastures by Kendra Norman-Bellamy
11. Soon and Very Soon, by Sherryle Kiser Jackson
12. Guilty of Love, by Pat Simmons
13. Secret Sisterhood, by Monique Miller
14. Louisa, by Richard Emmel
15. The Midnight Clear, An Anthology, by Kendra Norman-Bellamy
16. Love Me to the Altar, by Tamika Johnson-Hall
17. He's Fine...But Is He Saved?, by Kimberley Brooks
18. Expectations by Toni V. Lee
19. The Twelfth Window, by Jennifer M. Norwood
20. The First Lady-Confessions of a Preacher's Wife, by Mikasenoja
21. The Rose of Jericho, by Vanessa Davis Griggs
22. Only True Love Waits, by Dwan Abrams
23. Scent of an Angel, by Darn Oldham
24. The Divine Order, by Tina R. Newsome
25. Divorcing the Devil, by Dwan Abrams
The Top 25 Black Christian Small-Independent Publishers Bestsellers List (Fiction)
(Based upon Amazon.com rankings, BarnesandNoble.com rankings, and BlackCBD.com rankings.)
For the Week of March 16, 2008 through March 22, 2008.
1. From the Extreme, by Renea Collins
2. Troubles Won't Last Always, by Michelle Taylor
3. Me, Myself and Him, by E.N. Joy
4. Dance to Destiny, by Sherri Lewis
5. Something on the Inside, by T.N. Williams
6. Battle Of Jericho, by Kendra Norman-Bellamy
7. Me Time, by P. M. Morris
8. Happily Ever Now, by Nicole Rouse
9. Keeping Misery Company, by Michelle Larks
10. In Greene Pastures by Kendra Norman-Bellamy
11. Soon and Very Soon, by Sherryle Kiser Jackson
12. Guilty of Love, by Pat Simmons
13. Secret Sisterhood, by Monique Miller
14. Louisa, by Richard Emmel
15. The Midnight Clear, An Anthology, by Kendra Norman-Bellamy
16. Love Me to the Altar, by Tamika Johnson-Hall
17. He's Fine...But Is He Saved?, by Kimberley Brooks
18. Expectations by Toni V. Lee
19. The Twelfth Window, by Jennifer M. Norwood
20. The First Lady-Confessions of a Preacher's Wife, by Mikasenoja
21. The Rose of Jericho, by Vanessa Davis Griggs
22. Only True Love Waits, by Dwan Abrams
23. Scent of an Angel, by Darn Oldham
24. The Divine Order, by Tina R. Newsome
25. Divorcing the Devil, by Dwan Abrams
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Writers Wanted
Nevaeh Publishing is expanding its line. We are currently accepting manuscripts for the following fiction genres: African-American, contemporary, mystery/suspense, inspirational, romance, women’s, multi-cultural and young adult.
We are not interested in receiving manuscripts for: science fiction (Sci-Fi), fantasy, erotic romance, erotica, poetry, illustrated children’s books or non-fiction.
Fiction manuscript word length: range of approximately 65,000 - 100,000
Manuscript pages: Range of approximately 260-350
If your manuscript is polished and meets the aforementioned criteria, please see below.
1) Please submit a one-page synopsis and the first three chapters of the manuscript only. Submissions should be typed, not handwritten, and double-spaced using a size 12 font (Times New Roman, Arial or Courier). Each page should be numbered and contain the author’s name and title in the header.
2) The cover page should contain the author’s name, address, phone number, email address and the title of the submission.
3) Please include a self-addressed postage paid envelope so that your manuscript may be returned to you if necessary. Otherwise, submissions Nevaeh Publishing does not wish to consider for publication will be destroyed.
4) Please allow three to six months from the date of submission to be informed whether or not we wish to review and consider the full manuscript. If interested, the complete manuscript will be requested. The full manuscript should not be submitted unless requested.
Mail submissions to:
Nevaeh Publishing, LLC
P.O. Box 962
Redan, GA 30074-0962
Note: Do not email submissions without prior approval. For additional information, please visit www.nevaehpublishing.com.
We are not interested in receiving manuscripts for: science fiction (Sci-Fi), fantasy, erotic romance, erotica, poetry, illustrated children’s books or non-fiction.
Fiction manuscript word length: range of approximately 65,000 - 100,000
Manuscript pages: Range of approximately 260-350
If your manuscript is polished and meets the aforementioned criteria, please see below.
1) Please submit a one-page synopsis and the first three chapters of the manuscript only. Submissions should be typed, not handwritten, and double-spaced using a size 12 font (Times New Roman, Arial or Courier). Each page should be numbered and contain the author’s name and title in the header.
2) The cover page should contain the author’s name, address, phone number, email address and the title of the submission.
3) Please include a self-addressed postage paid envelope so that your manuscript may be returned to you if necessary. Otherwise, submissions Nevaeh Publishing does not wish to consider for publication will be destroyed.
4) Please allow three to six months from the date of submission to be informed whether or not we wish to review and consider the full manuscript. If interested, the complete manuscript will be requested. The full manuscript should not be submitted unless requested.
Mail submissions to:
Nevaeh Publishing, LLC
P.O. Box 962
Redan, GA 30074-0962
Note: Do not email submissions without prior approval. For additional information, please visit www.nevaehpublishing.com.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Blog Tour with Victorya Michaels Rogers
Finding true love, as I delved into ONLY TRUE LOVE WAITS, is far from an easy road. Men, in fact people, are not always what they appear to be. What is a single woman to do? Having been there, done that, dating coach and author of THE AUTOMATIC 2nd DATE, Victorya Michaels Rogers has the answers and has set out to take the anxiety and fear out of dating for single ladies on their journey to their true love that waits. Here are her answers to some dating questions I posed to her:
DWAN: Victorya, how can one back on the dating scene after a long absence adopt a hopeful attitude?
VICTORYA: Before you jump back into the world of dating allow yourself time to heal and reflect on where you’ve been. What was missing in your past love life? This is your season to really make it all about you. Love yourself first and deliberately pursue the life you always wanted! If you’re a single mom, obviously you need to seriously consider the needs of your children. But you also have to take care of you and come up with what you really want in a relationship before you start dating again. If you don’t know what you want then you’ll just date whoever takes notice and most likely that is was your problem in the past. You are valuable deserve to have a great relationship. But you have to believe that and know to recognize him when is comes along!
DWAN: You say every woman has an internal “Male GPS.” What is it and how do we use it?
VICTORYA: Available men are everywhere -- at the drive-thru, at work, at school, at church, at restaurants, at the mall, the gas station, sporting events, etc. You just have to know what you’re looking for and believe he exists. The Male GPS –male global positioning satellite—is in your mind. Your mind is an extremely power instrument that is always working and wants to be right! We are just bombarded with so much constant information we have to focus to notice anything. When you think about something enough, amazingly it seems to begin appearing everywhere you go. Let’s talk cars as an example. If you want that new blue Honda SUV, of course you believe it exists, and it’s on your mind, so it suddenly stands out every time one drives by. Just like thinking of your next car, think about what kind of guy you want.
The key to finding your next 1st date begins with your mind. You can instantly turn on your internal MALE GPS by figuring out specifically what you’re looking for in a guy, visualizing a man with those traits and believing he exists.
DWAN: In Automatic 2nd Date you list many unique places to meet men. Tell us a few.
VICTORYA: I advise skipping bars and clubs and just plunging yourself into the social world around you—be it at your church, country club, charity, or a special-interest group at your community center. As you interact with more and more people, you will automatically find yourself around — and introduced to — available men.
DWAN: You say the three-second flirt is a great way to get noticed. How does it work?
VICTORYA: FLIRT with him! Find someone who catches your eye? I have a lot of dating tips in The Automatic 2nd Date. One of them is to make sure you catch his eye. Eye contact is huge! Next time you’re in a “target rich environment” of potential dates, slowly scan the room with calm, soft eyes, resting your eyes briefly on any man who captures your attention, and then casually glance for a bare ring finger. If the finger is bare, lock into a gaze for your three-second flirt... Add a slight smile or grin, and then casually look away. You can repeat it several times to get your point across if you’d like. Just be aware that any longer than a 5 second glance at a time borders on creepy. And you don’t want that.
DWAN: What’s wrong with accepting last minute dates?
VICTORYA: The first 2 dates are when you establish how you expect to be treated without telling him how you want to be treated! If he calls you at the last minute, say something like “I’d love to, but I’ve just got something else going. How about a rain check?” I don’t care if you’re home doing your laundry. He doesn’t need to know. You’re just not available at the last minute. By this, you’re establishing that you’re worth calling early and you’re worth paying money for a date (even if they’re only buying you coffee). They’re making an effort to spend money on you, because they want to spend quality time with you.”
DWAN: What are some definite “Do’s” to keep in mind on first dates?
VICTORYA: Here are my five top “Do’s”: 1) Look your best, 2) Put your best self forward, 3) laugh with him, 4) flatter him, look at him, and especially 6) listen to him. I always recommend asking your date a lot of questions about him then truly listening to his answers. He is his own favorite subject, so he’ll be sure to have a great time and besides you WANT the information he reveals so you can figure out if you two are a match long before you are emotionally involved.
DWAN: Are there any definite “First Date Don’ts” to ensure a 2nd date?
VICTORYA: Oh my, there are definitely some First Date Don’ts! 1st dates are about holding back. Use RESTAINT and self- control across the board if you want your first date to become a 2nd date. That goes for whatever you say and whatever you do. Here are my top 7 Don’ts for First Dates.
--Don’t dress sleazy
--Don’t talk too much
--Don’t go off on past relationships
--Don’t reveal hatred for the male species
--Don’t expose enormous debt
--Don’t tell him he’s THE ONE
And definitely
--Don’t put out on that first date!
DWAN: How does buying your man gifts hurt your relationship without you knowing it?
VICTORYA: Buying your man expensive gifts puts pressure on him, especially on Valentine’s Day. You want your man to feel like the pursuer, not the chased! Make any gift you give him more about the thought than the price tag and never out give your man. If he can’t afford to reciprocate he’ll feel he’s not good enough for you and leave. If he can reciprocate but doesn’t want to, he’ll feel pressured and leave. It’s a no win situation. So before marriage, think thoughtful and little in regards to gift giving and offer lots of gushy thanks when he gives YOU gifts.
DWAN: Do you have a website or blog with any of these tips for our audience to check out?
VICTORYA: Yes, my website has a lot of additional tips and advice for single moms! Check it out-- it’s www.mantokeep.com. You can also order my books learn about my coaching program. I hope I have encouraged you and helped you see that dating does NOT have to be overwhelming, scary and stressful. In fact, believe it or not, you can actually enjoy the process if you take the time to find out what you REALLY want in a man, sharpen your dating skills and protect your little ones hearts by NOT introducing them to dates until you KNOW this is a serious, potentially permanent relationship. There is so much information I’d love to impart to you to make dating less anxiety filled, so feel free to visit my site anytime and/or check out my books Finding a Man Worth Keeping and The Automatic 2nd Date. ________________________________________________
Victorya Michaels Rogers, Dating Coach, Author The Automatic 2nd Date
For a chance to win a copy of Victorya’s latest book, The Automatic 2nd Date, post your best or worst first date story. Good luck!
DWAN: Victorya, how can one back on the dating scene after a long absence adopt a hopeful attitude?
VICTORYA: Before you jump back into the world of dating allow yourself time to heal and reflect on where you’ve been. What was missing in your past love life? This is your season to really make it all about you. Love yourself first and deliberately pursue the life you always wanted! If you’re a single mom, obviously you need to seriously consider the needs of your children. But you also have to take care of you and come up with what you really want in a relationship before you start dating again. If you don’t know what you want then you’ll just date whoever takes notice and most likely that is was your problem in the past. You are valuable deserve to have a great relationship. But you have to believe that and know to recognize him when is comes along!
DWAN: You say every woman has an internal “Male GPS.” What is it and how do we use it?
VICTORYA: Available men are everywhere -- at the drive-thru, at work, at school, at church, at restaurants, at the mall, the gas station, sporting events, etc. You just have to know what you’re looking for and believe he exists. The Male GPS –male global positioning satellite—is in your mind. Your mind is an extremely power instrument that is always working and wants to be right! We are just bombarded with so much constant information we have to focus to notice anything. When you think about something enough, amazingly it seems to begin appearing everywhere you go. Let’s talk cars as an example. If you want that new blue Honda SUV, of course you believe it exists, and it’s on your mind, so it suddenly stands out every time one drives by. Just like thinking of your next car, think about what kind of guy you want.
The key to finding your next 1st date begins with your mind. You can instantly turn on your internal MALE GPS by figuring out specifically what you’re looking for in a guy, visualizing a man with those traits and believing he exists.
DWAN: In Automatic 2nd Date you list many unique places to meet men. Tell us a few.
VICTORYA: I advise skipping bars and clubs and just plunging yourself into the social world around you—be it at your church, country club, charity, or a special-interest group at your community center. As you interact with more and more people, you will automatically find yourself around — and introduced to — available men.
DWAN: You say the three-second flirt is a great way to get noticed. How does it work?
VICTORYA: FLIRT with him! Find someone who catches your eye? I have a lot of dating tips in The Automatic 2nd Date. One of them is to make sure you catch his eye. Eye contact is huge! Next time you’re in a “target rich environment” of potential dates, slowly scan the room with calm, soft eyes, resting your eyes briefly on any man who captures your attention, and then casually glance for a bare ring finger. If the finger is bare, lock into a gaze for your three-second flirt... Add a slight smile or grin, and then casually look away. You can repeat it several times to get your point across if you’d like. Just be aware that any longer than a 5 second glance at a time borders on creepy. And you don’t want that.
DWAN: What’s wrong with accepting last minute dates?
VICTORYA: The first 2 dates are when you establish how you expect to be treated without telling him how you want to be treated! If he calls you at the last minute, say something like “I’d love to, but I’ve just got something else going. How about a rain check?” I don’t care if you’re home doing your laundry. He doesn’t need to know. You’re just not available at the last minute. By this, you’re establishing that you’re worth calling early and you’re worth paying money for a date (even if they’re only buying you coffee). They’re making an effort to spend money on you, because they want to spend quality time with you.”
DWAN: What are some definite “Do’s” to keep in mind on first dates?
VICTORYA: Here are my five top “Do’s”: 1) Look your best, 2) Put your best self forward, 3) laugh with him, 4) flatter him, look at him, and especially 6) listen to him. I always recommend asking your date a lot of questions about him then truly listening to his answers. He is his own favorite subject, so he’ll be sure to have a great time and besides you WANT the information he reveals so you can figure out if you two are a match long before you are emotionally involved.
DWAN: Are there any definite “First Date Don’ts” to ensure a 2nd date?
VICTORYA: Oh my, there are definitely some First Date Don’ts! 1st dates are about holding back. Use RESTAINT and self- control across the board if you want your first date to become a 2nd date. That goes for whatever you say and whatever you do. Here are my top 7 Don’ts for First Dates.
--Don’t dress sleazy
--Don’t talk too much
--Don’t go off on past relationships
--Don’t reveal hatred for the male species
--Don’t expose enormous debt
--Don’t tell him he’s THE ONE
And definitely
--Don’t put out on that first date!
DWAN: How does buying your man gifts hurt your relationship without you knowing it?
VICTORYA: Buying your man expensive gifts puts pressure on him, especially on Valentine’s Day. You want your man to feel like the pursuer, not the chased! Make any gift you give him more about the thought than the price tag and never out give your man. If he can’t afford to reciprocate he’ll feel he’s not good enough for you and leave. If he can reciprocate but doesn’t want to, he’ll feel pressured and leave. It’s a no win situation. So before marriage, think thoughtful and little in regards to gift giving and offer lots of gushy thanks when he gives YOU gifts.
DWAN: Do you have a website or blog with any of these tips for our audience to check out?
VICTORYA: Yes, my website has a lot of additional tips and advice for single moms! Check it out-- it’s www.mantokeep.com. You can also order my books learn about my coaching program. I hope I have encouraged you and helped you see that dating does NOT have to be overwhelming, scary and stressful. In fact, believe it or not, you can actually enjoy the process if you take the time to find out what you REALLY want in a man, sharpen your dating skills and protect your little ones hearts by NOT introducing them to dates until you KNOW this is a serious, potentially permanent relationship. There is so much information I’d love to impart to you to make dating less anxiety filled, so feel free to visit my site anytime and/or check out my books Finding a Man Worth Keeping and The Automatic 2nd Date. ________________________________________________


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